Thursday, September 30, 2004

Kevin; diplomacy personified

I have just watched the 'debate' between the Shadow Minister for Foreign Affairs and International Security Kevin Rudd and Alexander Downer on the ABC's 7.30 Report.

The discussion left me wanting Kevin "Intellect is my concealed weapon" Rudd to take over now.

The Foreign Affairs portfolio has been with the dangerously incompetent Downer long enough. I don't feel safe waiting another 10 days!


Wednesday, September 29, 2004

43, primed, and inoffensive

Today at the ALP Campaign Launch in Brisbane, Mark Latham used the phrase "unless we change now" 5 times.
I would have happily heard the phrase a 6th time if somewhere, Mark had uttered a blunt and passionate attack acknowledging the blood on Howard's hands and the consequences of his actions on our future when he knowingly sent Australia into an immoral role in an illegal war.
AND a recommitment to the troops out/home by Christmas promise.

Mark made a few oblique references to Howard, Truth and the War...
"We need a Prime Minister [...] who tells them the truth about the great issues of war and peace. And when things go wrong, a Prime Minister who is big enough to take responsibility and not blame others.
[...] but undermined so tragically by the mistakes in Iraq.
When Mr Howard sent Australian troops to the war in Iraq he knew, on advice, that his decision would make Australia less safe in the war against terror. Now he says that he'll keep Australian troops in Iraq until they have finished the job. But he can't tell them what the job is."
Do I want a 43 year old in the prime of his life, offering this country the beliefs and values of a good society who is already acting with such equivocation?



No thank you.

Ignore your advisors and minders Mark, lose the Chamomile tea, gulp down 5 Espressos, Rant, Feel, Blog and get Opinionated like you mean it!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Learner drivers improve, experienced drivers deteriorate



The opinions and impressions of 24 people, young, old and in between, who are not yet committed to voting for either party, in a marginal seat in western Sydney shows that the The Government's 'Learner Latham' campaign, which has been a ceaseless assault on Mark Latham's character and fitness for office ever since he took on the ALP leadership, has grabbed...a little.
Taking the Coalition's 'Learner driver, steering a country' analogy, overlaying the NSW Road Traffic Authority 2004 data, and dealing only with road accidents that result in fatalities,
let's analyse this.

Typically, 'Learner' drivers are aged 17-20 years. There have been 47 fatalities in that age group so far this year.
Mark's age group is 40-49. There have been 38 fatalities in that age group so far this year.
John Howard's age group is 60-69. There have been 31 fatalities in that age group so far this year.

Whilst this may actually go against my initial point; it is interesting to note that the 70+ age group is highest of all.
This age cohort is represented 58 times so far this year.

What this tells us is that the Prime Minister who is getting older and older by the day is lurching towards being totally 'unfit to drive.'

Unthinkable as another term is; let's distract 'driver Howard' a little with:
  1. the TRUTH the WHOLE TRUTH and nothing, but the TRUTH
  2. the Greenest Senate ever
  3. President Bush's defeat in November 2004
  4. a battle for the Leadership *oops wheel
  5. his colleagues that call him 'the rodent'
and John is going the wrong way on the M2..
...Dazed and confused as all the lights on the dashboard glow.
Screeeeeeeeech.
Oversteer.
Smaaaaash.
(Delivered in a Texas drawl)
"Can I see your license Sir?
Can you explain why you were following so closely behind?"
Driver Disqualified: "Failing to maintain a safe following distance"

Mark Latham may have limited 'highway experience' however, statistically he will just keep getting better and better behind the wheel of the hybrid vehicle.
Let's let him drive.
VVVRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Update

By 10 pm on 09 October 2004, the majority had made it clear that they had put Howard back in.
Welcome to the inevitable gridlock you uninspired decision makers.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Housewives leave home

Brisbane kitchens, washing lines and vacuum cleaners were left unattended as housewives got political.

The Coalition's campaign launch was reminded today that 50.7% of people eligible to vote are female.



Dinners weren't cooked, clothes weren't ironed and piles of hair rollers were abandoned all over Brisbane streets.

Not all is lost John and Janette.
These women, by their actions, may just influence others to care about the lies you told to justify the War in Iraq.
You have behaved badly once too often and we demand a separation.

You will not be allowed another relationship characterised by lies, abuse and violence.

Janette, occupying a redundant timeline

Mrs. Howard says her husband is not a liar.

Smart woman!
Janette is sensing the currency that the Howard Lies campaign is having on parts of the electorate and she is nervous. By making a statement to defend her husband, she is protecting her own interests.

Janette is under no illusions as to her worth in this society. Under her husband and his leadership Australia has not grown into a progressive society. In fact, the Liberal coalition government has moved Australia's culture and society significantly backwards.

Frankly, I'm surprised to see that Janette is even leaving her kitchen.
As an aging woman, I'm sure she wished she had read The Female Eunuch and The Change by Germaine Greer.
If she had, then what is happening to her and many other women as they mature and are only seen as wives, widows or grandmothers would not come as a surprise. Poor Janette...not too many options under honest John's Prime Ministership...let's see:
  1. not valuable as breeding stock
  2. not likely to be a mistress
  3. only value is as a wife

Oops.
Janette an old piece of fluff wedded to an old fart.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

"enormous comfort to terrorists"



And of course these are the sorts of things that give enormous comfort to terrorists, enormous comfort to terrorists. This is exactly what terrorists want to see.

I shouldn't leave a scintilla of a hint out there in the community that the Liberal Party is responsible for my behaviour.

I know it is a disgraceful and low thing to wear, particularly to the United Nations General Assembly last year.

I can only clear this mess up by dis-endorsing myself as a candidate for Mayo, and you can look forward to me doing so.

José and the F word, could Australia learn from Spain?

Spain's Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero says his role is not to shape public opinion but to follow it.
"I don't want to be a great leader; I want to be a good democrat. I accept that when an overwhelming majority of citizens says something, they are right."
On April 18, the day after he took office, he ordered Spain's 1,300 troops out of Iraq. He set up a government that has as many women ministers as men, and alternates them down the hierarchy. He launched policies against the aggression within Spanish machismo, stiffening laws against domestic violence and proposing the legalisation of gay marriage and rapid, no-fault divorces.

A radical democrat committed to feminism is a major departure for Spanish politics.



This is the country that has suffered from terrorism, with at least 1,000 killed by the [Basque] terrorist band ETA over the past 30 years. Spaniards have learned to adapt and understand that they have to combat terrorism by being firm but also by respecting democracy.


"I'm not just antimachismo, I'm a feminist. One thing that really awakens my rebellious streak is 20 centuries of one sex dominating the other. We talk of slavery, feudalism, exploitation, but the most unjust domination is that of one half of the human race over the other half. The more equality women have, the fairer, more civilized and tolerant society will be. Sexual equality is a lot more effective against terrorism than military strength."

Friday, September 24, 2004

Genevieve preferences an empty space

Cheating MP Ross Cameron has been asked by his wife, Genevieve to leave the marital home.
What does it say for a family values campaigning Candidate when his own wife is unlikely to put the number 1 next to his name?




Thursday, September 23, 2004

anti social worker

It is sometimes harder to be at work than it is to get work done.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Liberals promote 'wife gagging'

I am loving this.
This government, specifically Downer, with his most recent of idiotic outbursts has alienated every female over the age of 15.

Neither Howard, Abbott nor Downer could possibly be aware of the following data - Women vote.

In fact, by the middle of 1999, females had formed a slight majority of the general population (50.2%) and a marginally wider majority of those eligible to vote (50.7%).

I hope the Liberal party keeps this patronising behaviour highly visible. Women, Ladies, and grrrls all over this country will be able to observe these political dinosaurs of Patriarchy who see women only in the viewfinder of mother, wife and mistress.



People have opinions.
Women are people.
There are opinionated women,
pass it on!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Interpreting HOWLish

I hear language spring from his mouth and I recognise it as English.
Or is it?!

John Howard has his very own patois with it's very own meaning called HOWLish.

HOWLish is tricky.

When HoWARd says he has a policy of taking pre-emptive action against terrorist groups in neighbouring nations, he actually means 'Would you prefer a pre-emptive strike on Wednesday or would Friday be better?'

HoWARd Lies!

Remember to convert HOWLish to English whenever you hear him speak.
Just think of the opposite intent from whatever he is saying and you have mastered the language.

In HOWLish unequivocal becomes 'can I get back to you on that', instantaneous becomes 'in the fullness of time.'

Sunday, September 19, 2004

PM rattier than Rodents

Rodents all over Australia are accessing counsellors for debriefing as PM John Howard continues to Lie!

Even the rattiest of rodents such a young Lenin, pictured below, are being out-ratted.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Weapons, Waffles, Apathy

My election day outfit has arrived.
Thanks to Mr. Dinner, "toothpaste" to his friends.
What do you think?



I, like many people, will not give up reminding everyone of the illegality of the Invasion of Iraq by the coalition of the Willing.

Whatever it takes.
Including oblique prompts to WMD across my bazookas.
I'm doing it!

Friday, September 17, 2004

Oil underfoot for the Conga line of suckholes

I caught Aldo Borgu on Radio National today.

He spoke of research conducted in Australia which has assessed how the invasion of Iraq by the coalition of the willing influences the way voters make their decision in the Federal election on 09 October.

According to Aldo, the war in Iraq rates very lowly in the Australian voter Psyche.



I am one voter who disagrees.

I am as angry at what is happening in my name now, as I was for the months before we all protested in March 03.

At that time, I could smell a putrid stench of eminent death and destruction.
That smell intensifies every day that we remain in Iraq.
Without voter action there is little hope of Defence policy change.
Get active!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Downer 'unaware' kidnappers paid hostage $2

Mark Latham is very upset that Howard and Downer did not tell him about the special defense and police team that had already flown to Iraq as part of contingency planning in the event it was necessary to attempt a rescue of kidnapped Australians.

This must refer to the hostage negotiators.

Foreign Affairs Minister Alexander Downer was blunt when he was asked about reports of SAS involvement.

"No, no, there's no SAS. The regiment's recovery team is on standby at its headquarters inside Campbell Barracks at Swanbourne, near Perth, but was not included in government contingency plans activated on Tuesday." he said.
Mr Howard also rejected Labor claims the Government had breached the so-called caretaker convention by not consulting it about the make-up of a specialist federal police team sent to Iraq.

What?
Since when have the Australian Federal Police (AFP) and the Australian Defence Force (ADF) been interchangeable entities?
Perhaps it's a typo?
Perhaps D for Dickhead and P for Prick weren't clearly articulated?

It's fortunate that the ransom was paid for Sheikh Mohamed Sidbiyani one of Sydney's leading Shiite clerics because relying on this Government to act honestly or transparently could be fatal.





Update

The Daily Telegraph said the gang demanded $140,000 and kept Sheikh Mohamed Sidbiyani captive for three days before bundling him into the boot of a car, driving him to the town of Mahmoudeya, giving him $2 and freeing him without receiving the ransom because he is a cleric.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Possibly spotting Pauline

On election day, I would not recognise my local Public Primary School without it being
  1. sad
  2. underfunded
  3. difficult to negotiate for disabled or NESB voters
  4. strewn with faded pink Penne and green Rigatoni necklaces
  5. barren as a desert
  6. and even less inviting.
  7. Populated by a right-wing nutter (or xxiii)
  8. with some fundamentalist message.
I patiently wait for the 'L-Z' queue to move along, then spot my name; upside-down, 2.3 full minutes before Rosie here to help can.

I love the spectacle of a little bit of Pauline.

It might even make me vote early, and vote often.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Minimum Noninterventionism

Alexander Downer is brilliant at doublespeak.
He tells us that,
"Hostage negotiators are on standby, but said that did not mean the government would negotiate with terrorists. We would obviously in the circumstances where Australians were taken hostage try to get those Australians released, we're not going to go into the details of what methodology we would use to do that. We will not be making concessions to terrorists."
Prime Minister John Howard refused to comment on the hostage negotiators.

"I'm not going to get into the operational side of the situation that may in fact not exist, but our position remains that we will not alter our foreign policy, our defence policy, our security policy in response to any threat of terrorist organisations." He said.
Gee whiz Alexander, what do we pay our negotiators to do then?
Be on standby for standing by?
Surely, at some point they have to make contact, create a discourse and negotiate for change eg. Release the hostages.

Unless Negotiator is the less oft used word for 'Sharpshooter' .

Downer goes on to say,
"They're [The Australian Foreign Affairs Department] not entirely certain of all the number of Australians in Iraq. You're talking of a large number of Australians presumably who aren't registered with the embassy. Their (the department's) advice, I'd have to say is a bit thin."
Yes, and this is technically a fishnet!
Please Alexander, just take long-service leave and never come back!

Meanwhile in the top paddock...

Both Howard and Latham will not negotiate with the terrorists.



Howard claims "These are evil people, you can't make any concessions to them."

"Australian Federal Police (AFP) Commissioner Mick Keelty says hostage negotiators are on stand-by to fly to [the] Middle East if they are required.
Mr Keelty says the AFP began preparing some time ago in case Australians were taken hostage in Iraq."

Concession
(n.) A thing yielded; an acknowledgment or admission; a grant; esp. a grant by government of a privilege or right to do something.

(n.) The act of conceding or yielding; usually implying a demand, claim, or request, and thus distinguished from giving, which is voluntary or spontaneous.

Negotiation
(n.) The act or process of negotiating; a treating with another respecting sale or purchase. etc.

(n.) The transaction of business between nations; the mutual intercourse of governments by diplomatic agents, in making treaties, composing difference, etc.
-The Online Plain Text English Dictionary

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Mark-Man of Hair and Stamina

The debate has just finished and I voted for Mark Latham.
Kick back Mark, you are my Prime Minister in waiting.



John Howard looked like he was up way past his bedtime!

I advise a girl-eye-for-the-dead-guy makeover.
New hair and slow release multi-vitamins.





PIERS AKERMAN - A RANK PREMISE

I was up early and watching the insiders on ABC.

Piers Akerman sitting in the "Right Wing" chair (which incidentally forces the occupant to place their feet in the only turd brown square on the whole carpet) does what he does so well, stick up for the coalition and denigrate all opposition.

In his final comment A RANK names Brian Deegan the idiot of the week because of his call to sit and talk with JI. What is so threatening about sitting and talking?

A RANK prefers to absent himself from the human devastation involved and any alternate ways of reaching a workable, negotiated agreement that doesn't involve Troops and Force.



Perhaps listening would help!

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Who has the skills?

Brian Deegan wants Australia to talk to Jemaah Islamiah (JI).
This is a very good idea however, who, in Government, is skilled at listening and compromising?



What is needed is a high level political communicator...

Alas, what we have is John "the flummoxer" Howard. How can we forget his mess attempting to delineate spicy soups and terrorist groups.

And then there's Alexander Downer, who is just an idiot.

There is a third way. This could work!

The people of Mayo could vote in the Independent candidate - Brian Deegan. He's a proven communicator. As an added bonus he brings credibility and passion for the job.
Australia gains a negotiator and loses an idiot!
Fabulous!

Friday, September 10, 2004

Working hard is just so 80's!



Pru Goward is telling me that I have to work harder to help with the Australian economy.
No thank you.
I have worked hard
and now I am working less.
I much prefer working less.
I am happy to not buy the latest frock/SUV/Botox therapy.
I have Slung a hammock and am Swinging in the Sunshine of Spring in Sydney.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

This shade of Red looks great on me.

Three years ago the Australian Prime Minister made his move on asylum seekers.

The Norwegian cargo vessel, MV Tampa, had rescued 438 asylum seekers in waters off Christmas Island and wanted to land them on Australian shores.

Mr Howard blocked the ship. Labor's leader Kim Beazley said nothing as heavily armed members of the SAS were sent aboard to occupy the ship.

Australian human rights groups, left wing political parties and trade unions responded angrily to the incident. Paddy Crumlin, from the Maritime Union of Australia pointed out that Howard had made it likely that ships' captains might in future ignore the law of the sea and leave refugees to drown.

There, amoungst all the racist, fortress-Australia shrill was one lone Political voice. That voice was Greens' Senator Bob Brown. His was the sweet resonance of justice and humanity. After being called a "traitor" by Conservative MP Peter Slipper and radio talkback "shock jocks", Senator Brown received death threats.



The Tampa case has highlighted the lengths to which a xenophobic government is prepared to go to maintain racial "purity".

I will not be still and quiet John Anderson, I will be loud and outraged and Very, Very, Very RED.


Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Just how gullible are we?

There's a redback on the toilet seat
so I turned it over and found a teat
I milked that spider until it was dry
found a vein and then got high


Short-term money market for dummies

An extra payment to families gives the impression of more money.
Let me tell you as a recipient of Centrelink's money for the girlchild that this is not true.
There were/are only three types of payments.
  1. $600 for an already born child in June 2004

  2. $3000 for giving birth to a child after 01 July 2004

  3. $600 for having a child and completing a tax return for financial year 2003/2004 and having zero dollars debt to Centrelink. The debt is usually brought about by underestimating future earnings.

Now, we are led to believe that there is extra money.
WRONG!
The government has instructed Centrelink to hold off on the payment due to families upon completing their tax returns until sometime in September 2004.

Did you put my money on the short-term money market nihilistic Pete, did treasury come up a few thousand dollars?!



When it finally lands in my bank account, I will donate $300 to the Green candidate for Bennelong and $300 to the Green candidate for Higgins.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Imagining Echolalia from Howard the passive.

"Because family and work are sources of stability and dignity, I support welfare reform that strengthens family and requires work. Because a caring society will value its weakest members, we must make a place for the unborn child. Because religious charities provide a safety net of mercy and compassion, our government must never discriminate against them. Because the union of a man and woman deserves an honoured place in our society, I support the protection of marriage against activist judges."

I can just hear Johnny, parroting these words and themes from President Bush's speech.
This will take us back
to before we were born.



One flaccid, one firm on Coxs Road Mall...



The Prime Minister did not have a hard time meeting and greeting today.
It seems the Greens' candidate for the seat of Bennelong Andrew Wilkie,
was
much
more
impressive.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Turn off your catheter to win Gold

Disabled athletes are arriving in Greece from all over the world to compete in the Paralympic Games which are held from the 18-28 September 2004.

Curiously, Deaf athletes are excluded from this event for reasons of culture and ability. However, the deaf can compete in the Deaflympics.

'Boosting' is a phenomenon whereby athletes with spinal cord injuries attempt to raise their blood pressure, causing their body to also rise to an unnaturally high state of stimulation. This leads to a kind of 'fight or flight' mentality which is ideal for physical competition.

Some boosting techniques include sitting on ball bearings or pins,



tying piano wire around the scrotum and turning off catheters. These methods give paralyzed athletes no pain but cause their sympathetic nervous systems to drive their blood pressure straight up, improving performance by as much as 15%.

I am pleased to see that athletes with a disability can enhance their performances just like any other Olympian.
Equality in action.

Keeping it under 200 watts

I am fortunate to know some fascinating and interesting people.
The designer, scavenger, tube bender, welder, builder, test pilot and go to man of this piece of fun is brilliant.


Absence of proof is not proof of absence-William Cowper

The foreign minister, Alexander Downer, says Mr Howard has been vindicated.
"The whole of [opposition leader] Mr Latham's smear against the prime minister, and allegations the prime minister is a liar and can not be trusted, is built on evidence that has been found to be faulty," he said.



I expect elected officials to have more brainpower than Alexander Downer has ever displayed.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Mike of Steel

Mike Scrafton is a bit wobbly about the less relevant details. He's not sure if in the 51 seconds that the second telephone call lasted he could have covered all the topics he claims to have raised with the Prime Minister.

Radio journalists know that 51 seconds is sufficient time to read aloud two-thirds of a double-spaced type written page.

Therefore it is wholly possible that the Prime Minister listened and Mike spoke.
Perhaps he said,



"Sir, the videotape of the incident did not support the proposition that children had been thrown overboard. I advise you, Prime Minister that photographs released by the government did not relate to the incident and no one in Defence that I have dealt with believed the allegation."