Saturday, December 18, 2004

Our drongo in London

Firstly,

Sorry

England.

Yes it's true.
Richard "The public is as stupid as I am" Alston will be High Commissioner to London.

Simon Wright at Whirlpool rounds up our drongo's achievements whilst Communications Minister:
  1. Initially dismissing broadband as a gaming platform
  2. Calling a country-wide broadband rollout a "costly waste of time"
  3. Decreeing that consumers should be kept in the dark about their phone line
  4. Linking the takeup of broadband to pornography
  5. Allowing his department to spend $4,000,000 on a small and poorly developed website
Richard Alston is perhaps best known for his 43 points of complaints against the ABC's AM program in it's coverage of the War in Iraq.

Talking to the ABC AM show, Alexander Downer runs out of resume material for our drongo and naturally drifts into attack...
"He [Alston] certainly has a great deal...I mean obviously cabinet ministers all deal with diplomacy in significant ways in the age of globalisation. Secondly, Richard Alston from recollection was the president of the Australian Council for Overseas Aid some years ago. He has extraordinary experience.

But you know, the criticisms coming from the Labor Party say it's all about Mr Latham. He made it clear that he hated Liberals and was going to bring his children up to hate Liberals, so therefore anybody who is a Liberal is, according to Mr Latham's team, disqualified from serving this country.

I mean this is just a preposterous attack."
Alston in his time as communications Minister was renowned for his inability to grasp simple concepts, such as the "on" button. I am hopeful that technology will continue to befuddle our dick and we won't hear anything from him.

3 Comments:

Blogger weezil said...

I'm just pleased that Dicko is 12,000 miles away where he can do relatively little harm.

He hasn't figured out the internet except perhaps how to download a little porn, so he's now one of Britain's diplomatic immunity problems instead of our Impediments to Communications Minister.

11:16 am  
Blogger Flute said...

I hope someone told him that the UK is the little green island next to France, or he could end up in Iceland (oh shit, Downer probably gave him a hand drawn map)

8:54 am  
Blogger suki said...

Flute, rumour has it that he's taking English lessons...

8:48 pm  

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