Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Mind Spirit alignment for the fearful leader to appease the fearful voter

Dear Mark,
Having consulted with the Aromatherapist and Kineisiologist, these are the plants that will furnish the essential oils to restore your health.




Fill that spa in Terrigal with warm water.
Place 5 droplets of each into the tepid mass.
Disrobe.
Gently lower yourself into this puddle of pungency and relax.

Soak, with eyes closed, for 15 minutes.
Repeat this ritual daily until you feel your wellness returning.
This is usually achieved within 8-10 days.

Pack up your bags.
Load the Commodore and return to Canberra.

Get back into your role as Labor leader and impress us.


We desperately need a viable alternative to HoWARd.

Mark, you're it!

Fucking get well and make plans to kick his lying rodent arse!

8 Comments:

Blogger weezil said...

It's an emergency, doctor!

Send in the aromatherapists!!

-weez

10:00 pm  
Blogger Aryeh Calvin said...

What are the essential oils suggested by the aromatherapist. I cant tell from pictures what the plants are

4:38 am  
Blogger suki said...

The plants pictured are from the genus get-to species work

7:55 am  
Blogger Walter said...

I'm so conflicted on this one. Trooly. He is either going to announce that the pancreatitis is a secondary condition of the cancer that affected one of his testicles and has come back (the cancer, not the testicle) which will see him step down as leader OR he is a fat-headed lazy bastard who, as you say, should get back on the saddle - or move over for Jules! w

9:53 am  
Blogger weezil said...

Whaddya mean, Jules?

Rudd should get the nod. He can do the gig with one of his brains tied behind his back.

-weez

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am deeply impressed with the layout. All neat and boxed up.

This stuff is just beeeeezarrro. Where the hell are Latham's minders? They could at least have superglued his back to some sticks, pushed him onto the balcony and moved his arms with fishing twine while a ventriloquist told the world how sorry the ALP was for the tsunami.

It is like the ALP has suffered its own little tsunami - well, an accident with a rip at a back beach at least - of despair and can't get out of bed. While I sympathise with this strategy, we do vote for them on the grounds that they are not the sort of people who crawl under the covers with a noddy book when the going gets tough.

Unlike us mortals, they are leaders. They have a leader.

The next person who runs the ALP can take power, faction or no faction, electable face or no electable face, if they march into the party room with a cricket bat studded with fence nails, whack Latham on the kisser for running away and hiding in his potty with his heffalump friend and tell anyone else that the slightest disloyalty, cowardice or mental confusion will be answered with more of the same. Then produce a plan to belt Howard the same way.

Rage, ordnance and endurance.

- barista

ps - if that Bob Carr can run NSW even though he looks like a squashed duck and has the voice of a cannibal who has eaten an elecution teacher, Rudd can run Australia. His head may look like a huge pasty pudding, but a bit of adversity will turn him into a mobile cannon ball.

And Beasley? Jee-sus, has everyone forgotten the election before? In which Mr Genial metamorphosed into the.. the... the..... Fighting Fog Thing.

I have a vision. A modest suburban car pulls up outside Parliament House. An elegant man with vulpine features click clicks on exquisite shoes across the marble. He goes into the visitor's gallery. A hush descends. A whisper runs round the House. "He's here, he's here.." And in the silence we hear the thin trickle of a Prime Minister pissing his pants.

Without saying a word, with just a thin-lipped smile, Paul Keating rises and takes his leave.

8:57 pm  
Blogger suki said...

Walter all I know is that HoWARd has to go.
And the leader of the opposition has to be able to impress the electorate.
Right now Mark can't chuck a decent sickie or appoint a 2IC.

10:18 pm  
Blogger suki said...

Barista,

A Leader.
One who leads.
Oh yes!

10:35 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home