Monday, July 04, 2005

Contact therapy

I am so pleased that Barnaby Joyce has bouncer on his resume.
He's going to need to draw on everything he learned from Griff at the Wicklow Hotel in Armidale to best the undesirable elements of this government that is out to alter his opinions.
Members of the Ministry of Alteration Tony Abbott and Mark Vaile were seen waiting around the back of Parliament House, one with a phone book at the ready and the other waving an auctioneer's hammer.

Alexander Downer will no doubt need little persuasion to chase Barnaby down...

Image from here


Blogger Lord Sedgwick said...

Oh dear, my t-shirted one, (and yes, if you must know I am averting my eyes from your nubile chesticality as we type) you can be so cruel at times!

How unkind of you to attribute a homoerotic underpinning* to this photo.

Let me set the record straight (and I use the word advisedly ... I have a raft a lawyers standing behind me at present dispensing advice for a mere $20 a word ... and as much photocopying as they can eat) that photo was actually taken at my stud-io apartment during the 1956 Melbourne Olympics. I came to know the East German Tag Team Wrestlers, Siegfried and Roygbiv over a plate of Fish and Chips, a few Gins and Tonics and Benson and Hedges at Young and Jackson's and they were quite interested in dropping by to look at my etchings at my pied à terry in very Studley Park Road.

The night rolled on and as these things are want to do, Siegfried and Roygbiv became quite frisky around 3 a.m. and insisted on entertaining me with their half Nelson, full Monty rendition of "The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round". All as innocent as that! (and no the reason for their deportation had nothing to do with me being found the next day leather-bound, coated in vegemite, honey and very runny single malt King Island Brie and a number of missing Aubrey Beardsley etchings. Nothing at all! And if you insist on casting aspersions, my lawyers are still present and have been reading the full run-down on "underpinning".

(*Underpinning was a time-honoured, sophisticated, crowd-pleasing wrestling hold of the early 1950s which now has sadly fallen into disrepute due to the lobbying by the "Friends of the Spotless Canvas and Step-over Toe-hold". Underpinning involved one of the wrestlers lifting the canvas from the floor of the wrestling ring, throwing his opponent underneath same and repeatedly jumping on him from the corner post until all that could be seen of the unfortunate underpinnee was the trickle of blood trailing down the side of the ring.)

7:05 am  
Blogger suki said...

*Saluting and puffing out chest*
Dear Sir,
I have consulted with Messrs. HoWARd, Ruddock and Costello who have advised that I respond to your flotilla of legalittlies with:
a. One man's homoeroticism is another man's homosocial bonding.
b. They were not in the room at the time.
c. Can I have a glass of water please?

10:13 pm  
Blogger Lord Sedgwick said...

Ha! Fell for my trap! (Actually the trap was set by my barrister, Sir Peregrine Phlegmington-Cummerbund for a mere $50k and unlimited access to my Pierre Cardigan vintage underwear collection.)

Right, now that we have you pinned against the Berlin Wall, drink that glass of water whilst repeating after us "Some of my best friends are East German wrestlers." (WITH FEELING!) And we'll be watching young Alex over there wearing the fishnet teddy for any puckering, pursing like movement on his whetted lips.

7:39 am  

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